This trip has been a year in the planning stage so we’ve booked lots of activities in advance. 

A couple of days ago I was just pulling everything together when my phone suddenly went ‘PING!’

I looked at the message which was from my bank and it said that I had just received 12,904,000!!

Yes, you read that right –  Twelve million nine hundred and four thousand- into my account!!

At last, the Euromillions lottery had come good!

I was home alone at the time so I immediately searched for a local party planner to festoon the street with bunting and let the celebrations begin. 

Next, I thought about the Vietnam trip and decided, as I’m not good in a small plane, that rather than calling NetJets for a Gulfstream maybe I could hire an A320 or a 737 to take us there. 

Then I decided a support team would be great, maybe following us in one of those rock-band entourage buses containing personal trainers, nutritionalist, chefs (Head chef and patisserie, obviously) and perhaps a concierge, translator and security chief and a few extras to fan our brows and pamper to our whims. 

I opened my bank app to begin investing my fortune – and that’s the moment when I realised that what I actually had was a refund from a Hotel in Can Tho for twelve million flippin’ Vietnamese Dongs which, at 30,000 to the pound, is around £400!!!😩😩😩 Drat!, as they say in Vietnam.